dEhiN's Blog

Sin struggles May 20, 2008

Why is is that whenever you are trying to go deeper with God, to get to the next level as it were, there’s such a struggle involved in it? It’s like at that very point, Paul’s words, “For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing” (Romans 7:19) kick into effect. Sometimes I wonder if my heart desire is true or not. One moment, I’m saying to God, “Father, I want to know you more and I surrender all of myself”, and then the next moment I’m doing that which is the very opposite of surrender. Now I know that Satan is our Accuser and that a good portion of the doubts about my heart desire stems from his lies. But wait…the Holy Spirit just reminded me of something: God does not accuse us in any way! That means that not just a good portion, but ALL of the doubts stems from his lies. That still doesn’t excuse my sin, nor diminish the need to overcome it. But, as Paul goes on to say, “Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it” (Romans 7:20). And further on in the chapter, “Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God – through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7: 24b-25). I can only keep coming back to He is the Author and Perfecter of my faith, and that because I live in the bounds of time, every moment I am able to make a fresh choice to pursue God or not. That means that even though I sought to grow in God one moment, fell to sin the next moment, if I repent and seek to grow in Him again the next moment after that, the choice I made to sin is over and done with. That is, my sin is forgiven, and the choice I made doesn’t negate the choice to repent and seek Him again! And furthermore, the choice to sin didn’t negate the choice to seek God in the first place (or moment); it just slowed down the process. Amen, thank you God for Your grace and mercy, love and forgiveness.

DH