Warring motivation November 24, 2008
Posted by David Hiran Watson in About Me, Daily Life-Walk.Tags: arts, creativity, personality
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Have you ever felt like you are (at least) two different people? Or perhaps more apropos, that within you resides multiple, polar aspects to your personality? (On a side note, I have always liked that word – apropos. 
). I suppose the word polar implies two opposites, like the North and South Poles, so multiple polar aspects might be an oxymoron. And I am not talking about clinical MPD, but rather different desires or motivations within you that don’t reconcile to each other, and shouldn’t coexist together but they do. The interesting phenomenon to behold is how a particular motivation wins out over the others. As far as I can tell, the external circumstance – more specifically, the people around me and the state they are in – either plays the sole factor or a major factor in which motivation(s) arise to the surface. This same factor usually determines which motivation also rules the others.
For example, even though I have an artistic side and a fairly strong right brain, I feel more comfortable expressing my creativity in safe situations. This is partly due to past experiences where the creative within me has been derided. There are times where I have a creative moment, and want to express it. This could be a desire to be dramatic, to draw, create music, dance or creatively write. Yet, depending on who I’m with, I might not feel safe to express that creativity for fear that I will be mocked and derided. Most of the time, in these situations, the fear wins out, and the motivation to suppress the creative desire rules me.
This is also true if the company I’m in has never seen me express myself creatively through a specific medium. The company perhaps is not the deriding type, and yet I will still find it hard to overcome the motivation to suppress my creativity for reasons of fear.
DH
Name changes May 20, 2008
Posted by David Hiran Watson in About Me.Tags: arts, God, names, personal growth
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Some of you may be wondering why dEhiN, and, for those who already know me and have read my About page, why David Hiran Watson. My full name is David Hiran Watson, but pretty much my whole life I’ve gone as Hiran Watson. It was a decision my parents made for a couple of reasons. Much of my government id has my full name on it, but my SIN card, and everything else – school records, work info at all the places I’ve worked at, resume, etc. – has Hiran Watson. Lately, as in 2008 and latter half of 2007, God has been doing work in me related to discovering more of who I am, who He has created me to be. This has included discovering abilities, interests, personality traits, that I suppose lay dormant before this point.
So how does this relate to dEhiN and the use of my full name? Well, through all this discovering, God has been planting on my heart to start using my full name. To me, it’s symbolic because I used to use part of my name when I was only partially aware of who God had created me to be. Now that I’m fully (or almost fully) aware of who He has created me to be, there is a desire to use my full name. In addition, much of the discovering has been in the realm of art and my artistic side. Because of this, I felt the need to create a pseudonym (primarily) for artistic endeavours, again as a reflection of this ‘new’ me. Hence: dEhiN – DAvid HIran watsoN. (I know David is spelled with an ‘a’, but it’s pronounced as an ‘e’).
DH
