dEhiN’s Blog

Is hope deferred always a good thing? To put it another way, is it possible that sometimes when hope is deferred, it would have been better to have had the hope realized right away? I know that, for myself at least, there are times where the deferred hope (be it in the form of a dream, expectation, desire, want, etc.) turns or threatens to turn into a hope lost or a hope crushed. What about when we bring God into the picture, and when the Holy Spirit is the O/one asking us to wait and trust? Perhaps when God initiates a putting off of realizing hope, and a perseverance and patience in the meanwhile, it is not possible for that hope to turn into a crushed or lost hope? If so, perhaps this is because when God is involved, and more so when He is the initiator, His purity and goodness is brought into the situation? Following the same logic, then the times when my deferred hope threatens to turn into crushed hope, it isn’t God who has asked me put off realizing that hope, but other factors. The greatest factor, apart from God, I can think of is the daily struggle of good vs. evil in life. There is a song by a Christian band, called “Delirious”, with the lyrics in the chorus as follows: Gravity is pulling me, but heaven is calling me. So, perhaps the times when my hope deferred threatens to turn into lost hope, it is the battle of heaven vs. gravity that is the initiator?

DH

Is there still a place in this world for the generosity of spirit Jesus lived and exhibited? I was going to post on this about a week ago, but decided not to at the time. But it seems to me that whether you’re among Christians, or non-Christians, it’s all the same: the person who seeks to live genuinely unselfishly gets shot down and worn out, and the worst part is, by both his fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, as well as those of this world. Even worse is that sometimes it’s actually others who are not siblings in Christ who recognize the generosity of spirit within such an individual and seeks to respond in kind. Are we as God’s children so blind? Why is it so hard to live with the following priority list: God first, others second, myself last? Isn’t that what Jesus exemplified? I’m not even expecting any human being to live that priority list perfectly while on Earth, since Jesus was the only perfect human (was referring to when He walked this Earth). But can we not even try to live that way? Perhaps there are those that do try and live such a way.

I understand now why Isaiah thought he was the only one left in all of Israel serving God (see 1 Kings 18-19). It makes me so upset, sad, angry and frustrated all at once, when I think of how those of us who are the body Christ should be the first, en masse, to be generous of spirit and loving to the infinite degree, and yet we many times fall so short. I’m not upset and angry because I, and my fellow siblings, are not perfect. I am upset and angry because it seems to me that many times we are not even trying! Why was it that Isaiah was coming from a people who were supposed to be God’s people, and yet there was only him and seven thousand in all Israel who hadn’t turned away from following God (1 Kings 19:18)?

All I know is that I praise God He is faithful and keeps me; else I would have let my soul and spirit grow selfish and hard to fit in with the rest of the world, and what many times seems like those of Christendom! But perhaps I am being too harsh and sarcastic; perhaps many of my siblings are like me, where they are trying to exemplify the love Jesus showed, but they fall just like I do. I just wish we (myself included) had the grace of God within us to be able to recognize and admit to one another when we fall. I should stop now because I’m losing my cohesive train of thought.

DH

As anyone who knows me offline or has read my previous posts already knows, I tend to contextualize almost everything. I suppose there are moments when the poignancy sought after lies in there being no contextualization taking place, but just the randomness of the moment. Personally, I just find it really, really hard to let a moment be that: random. Anyway, with all of that preamble, I’m going to start a series of posts called “Random Thoughts”. It’ll be my attempt at laying out a random, yet possibly poignant or philosophical, thought that I’m mulling over. I’ll also try to just state the thought, and at the most, add a little bit of post-amble. But please feel free to respond to the thought/post-amble in the comments. So here’s today’s thought:

What do you do with a heavy heart? With a heart that feels like it’s carrying the weight of the world – your life and all its problems, as well as everyone else’s life and all their problems?

DH